Lessons learnt.
on friday night…
Vodka and redbull will not sober you up at 2am in the morning when you are so drunk that your eyes are half closed and your cheeks are drooping towards the floor.
Drinking even more vodka and redbull will also not sober you up enough for you remember where you left your bag.
Nor will it help you remove your boots before you get into bed, or come good on a promise to help your friend make a trifle.
at netball..
despite usually not being able to shoot goals unless there is a freak twister on the court sucking the ball through the net, when I do manage to get one in I can frustrate someone enough to make them punch the ball so hard their knuckles bleed.
at yoga…
“now put your feet in the air.. and push up towards the ceiling.. if you are menstruating then you can not do this next bit.. everybody else move your arms above your head..”
wtf?? Im pretty sure I can put my arms above my head, even if you do talk in very convincing smooth dulcet tones. And does teaching us ‘basic anatomy’ really require that much touching of your assistant? I think we all know where the breast bone is.
on the bus...
maths really is a leisure activity after all -
highschool kid #1: have you been working on your maths since maths camp?
highschool kid #2: well, I haven’t been doing that much, I just think I should have more time for leisure activities.. not that Maths isn’t a leisure activity…
at bf’s parents house for dinner…
"Next time you're pregnant, you shouldn’t drink coffee, because it makes the baby come out a funny colour"
(i am just as confused about this last one as anyone, and for the record, the next time I'm pregnant will be the first time)
Vodka and redbull will not sober you up at 2am in the morning when you are so drunk that your eyes are half closed and your cheeks are drooping towards the floor.
Drinking even more vodka and redbull will also not sober you up enough for you remember where you left your bag.
Nor will it help you remove your boots before you get into bed, or come good on a promise to help your friend make a trifle.
at netball..
despite usually not being able to shoot goals unless there is a freak twister on the court sucking the ball through the net, when I do manage to get one in I can frustrate someone enough to make them punch the ball so hard their knuckles bleed.
at yoga…
“now put your feet in the air.. and push up towards the ceiling.. if you are menstruating then you can not do this next bit.. everybody else move your arms above your head..”
wtf?? Im pretty sure I can put my arms above my head, even if you do talk in very convincing smooth dulcet tones. And does teaching us ‘basic anatomy’ really require that much touching of your assistant? I think we all know where the breast bone is.
on the bus...
maths really is a leisure activity after all -
highschool kid #1: have you been working on your maths since maths camp?
highschool kid #2: well, I haven’t been doing that much, I just think I should have more time for leisure activities.. not that Maths isn’t a leisure activity…
at bf’s parents house for dinner…
"Next time you're pregnant, you shouldn’t drink coffee, because it makes the baby come out a funny colour"
(i am just as confused about this last one as anyone, and for the record, the next time I'm pregnant will be the first time)
posted by ~~~ at 2:26 pm
1 Comments:
it's ok 3 drunken yobs woulda definitely spoiled the trifle..besides you were still taking off your boots by the time i'd finished and drunken yob number 2 did nothing but sit on a chair and watch while i wrapped the thing in aluminium foil!! in the morning i was somewhat confused...but nevertheless the trifle was a hit.
Post a Comment
<< Home