becoming mean and bitter

Whilst at breakfast at my sister and nics last week I realised I’m turning into a mean and bitter person. I watched them cook my parents and I breakfast in their cupboard kitchen together and there wasn’t even one harsh word or annoyed look given. It was very pleasant. So since then I have tried to start a ‘be nicer’ revolution at home where I try to be nicer to J and try to get him to be nicer to me. I’m not sure if it is working really, but he hasn’t taken my wet clothes of the clothes rack to make way for his wet clothes since.

However just now in my open plan office, I purposefully paused a video I’m working on at a particularly gruesome point where a drill is being applied to a tooth so that my co-workers would be grossed out if they looked up while I went and ran some errands. I didn’t even realise I was doing it until I got back, it just came naturally. I think it might be time to think about moving on cause I dunno if a ‘be nicer’ revolution is going to be possible here.